A#sus2  C7      C7sus4  D#6     F       F7      
<====>  <====>  <====>  <====>  <====>  <====>  
 ||OO    |||O    ||OO    ||||    ||O|    ||O|   
 ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||    O|||    O|||   
 O|||    ||||    ||||    OOOO    ||||    |O|O   
 ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||   
.||||   .||||   .||||   .||||   .||||   .||||   
 ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||    ||||   

[Intro]
F  F7  A#sus2  C7sus4  C7


[Verse]
    F                                   F7
Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
     A#sus2                   C7sus4           C7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
   F                          F7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
A#sus2                               C7sus4          C7
He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen


[Verse]
   F                     F7
If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
A#sus2                    C7sus4         C7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
   F                                  F7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
           A#sus2                           C7sus4          C7
He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend


[Chorus]
   F                               F7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
     A#sus2                         C7sus4             C7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
F                                 F7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
     A#sus2                               C7sus4       C7
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele


[Bridge]
A#sus2                     C7
Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful
F                       A#sus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
A#sus2                   C7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
D#6
Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people,

Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple


[Verse]
F                              F7
Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks
       A#sus2                         C7sus4    C7
Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
   F                        F7
If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
      A#sus2                           C7sus4             C7
Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle


[Verse]
    F                     F7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream
     A#sus2                               C7sus4   C7
And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
   F                                 F7
It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
  A#sus2                          C7sus4          C7
About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math-s-


[Chorus]
   F                               F7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
     A#sus2                         C7sus4             C7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
F                                 F7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
     A#sus2                               C7sus4       C7
And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele


[Bridge]
A#sus2                  C7
Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder
F                       A#sus2
You can play the ukulele too in London and Down Under
A#sus2                                    C7
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk
D#6
Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked

If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it


[Verse]
F                           F7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
         A#sus2                          C7sus4     C7
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
       F                              F7                         A#sus2
Now imagine if John Lennon had composed "Imagine" for the ukulele
                          C7sus4      C7
Maybe people would have truly got the message


[Verse]
     F                               F7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naive
           A#sus2                                 C7sus4          C7
Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
     F                        F7
But people for millennia have needed music to survive
     A#sus2                            C7sus4      C7
And that's why I've promised John that I will not feel guilty


[Verse]
    F                                  F7
So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love
        A#sus2             C7sus4    C7
They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money
F                               F7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer
A#sus2                        C7sus4    C7
Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele


[Verse]
F                                F7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard
     A#sus2                            C7sus4        C7
Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
       F                                  F7
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic
A#sus2                   C7sus4    C7
Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele


[Verse]
F                                  F7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
     A#sus2
And bring your flask of Jack to work, your etch-a-sketch, your vibrator
your fear of heights, your Nikon lens


[Verse]
      F                                  F7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "Karate Kid"
      A#sus2                        C7sus4      C7
Your Ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
       F                                  F7
Your favorite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
      A#sus2                               C7sus4                C7
Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree
      F                                     F7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
   A#sus2
Remember we're all going to die
   F            F
so play your ukulele